What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
