you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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