Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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