the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
