I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize