if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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