he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
a search helicopter?!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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