chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Alive.
So much puke
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize