I hate all girls vehemently.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
