Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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