I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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