I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize