Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
