we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize