was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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