I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We were destined to go to rehab together
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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