So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
