Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
