But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
