apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
