worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
