I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My feet surprised me
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