you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
