Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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