i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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