READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
