This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
