Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Acid is not a monday night drug
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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