and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
