It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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