escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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