four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize