You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
