She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
