and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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