Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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