What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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