Michael Bay diarrhea
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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