Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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