Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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