I think i peed on brittanys purse
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I will be naked everywhere
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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