that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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