I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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