So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
