all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
