Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
