walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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