also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
