This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
two words: eviction party
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Randomize
