Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
