called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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