I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
