Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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