I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
The ass gains better be worth it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
