I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
