Too much gin, very little bucket
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This house was built for laser tag.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
not ubering you a puppy
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
