At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
