I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
