PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
