Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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