Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
