I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
